


For What We Want Most

by NamelesslyNightlock



Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe, Pirates of the Caribbean (Movies), The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Pirates of the Caribbean Fusion, Angst, Curses, Davy Jones!Tony, Depressed Tony Stark, Fate is cruel, Feels, Heartache, Heartbreak, M/M, Misunderstandings, Movie: Pirates of the Caribbean: Dead Man's Chest, Not A Happy Ending, Past Relationship(s), Pirate Tony Stark, Tony Stark Feels, Tony Stark Needs a Hug, Tony Stark does NOT have a heart, and so are the gods
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-02-09
Updated: 2020-02-09
Packaged: 2021-02-27 20:13:56
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,071
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22631644
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/NamelesslyNightlock/pseuds/NamelesslyNightlock
Summary: If the gods will not keep their word... then why should Tony?
Relationships: Loki/Tony Stark
Comments: 31
Kudos: 102





	For What We Want Most

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you to **BennyBatch** for convincing me to post this, and thank you to **Rabentochter** for... everything else ❤︎

They say that there is a cost must be paid in the end. They say that when you reach that place of darkness, all of your good deeds are measured against your sins, and your fate depends upon the tilt of the scales.

Tony knows that not to be true. He knows that death is laced with far more cruelty. He knows what lies beyond the crest of the last wave– he _knows_ what awaits beyond the brink of a final breath.

There’s nothing out there. Nothing but _nothing_ , just endless black water, still air, and a lack of light that would be enough to drive the most level headed men mad. For those who are at peace there is perhaps some comfort afforded by the nothingness. But for those who left something behind?

Well… Tony supposes that might be a punishment in and of itself.

But, those people are few and far between. Most, when they see what lies beyond, realise just how small their worries in life truly were… and mostly, they wish that they hadn’t wasted what time they had before simply accepting the stretch of darkness that shrouded their fate.

Not Tony, though. Oh no– his curse meant that he had seen World’s End, and he knew that the true punishment lay not in death, but in what one could suffer in _life._

Oh, he knew that life could bring joy and happiness, and that for most of the world, that was worth living for– but not to him. Not for a long time, now—

Not for nigh on a hundred years.

No.

Shoving a knife into his chest and carving out his own heart was nowhere near as painful as feeling the ache of loss and betrayal every day.

Ten years at sea, ten years of yearning, of doing the job he had been assigned in exchange for his longevity…

And when he reached the shore at the end of his ten-year _sentence_ , when he stepped onto the sand for the first time in a full decade, looking forward to his single day of pleasure—

His love was not there.

He’d expected to find Loki on the beach, waiting with open arms. Then he wondered if perhaps Loki was waiting in the forest beyond the sand, or perhaps in the town. Or perhaps he was running late, that happened to everyone, and with that the case he would surely arrive soon. He wouldn’t just leave Tony alone, Loki wouldn’t abandon him on the one day in a decade that he could step on land.

But as the sun crested the sky and dipped back down toward the horizon, Tony had been forced to realise the truth.

Loki _was not there._

Ten.

Years.

It was probably nothing to a god. It hardly felt like anything to Tony now– and yet… separated from the person he loved most in the world, at the time it had felt like more than a life’s sentence. Stepping onto the beach that day, he had felt as light as feather—

But ever since, he had only felt the crushing weight of the ocean pressing down upon him, his heart shattering and splintering. And the agony of it was so great that he did the only thing he could think of to do—

He carved the bloody thing from his chest.

And… you know what? Without his heart, it was as if everything became so much clearer. There was no need for him to continue his work, was there? Why should he keep ferrying the souls of those who died at sea across the black water at the end of the world?

If the gods did not keep their word… then why should Tony?

He should have guessed that there would be a consequence. Gods never take kindly to being spurned, no matter how much they might deserve it.

Tony noticed the first change after only a few weeks, when salt water began pooling in his mouth, coming up his throat as if he had been drowned. His skin turned so pale that it appeared near translucent, and gained a greenish tinge in the sunlight.

He looked as dead as the souls that he had once ferried, and yet… for him, there _was_ no escape.

His curse was more punishment than anything that could be found in the afterlife.

Once, there was nothing he wanted more than to live forever, to live as long as the one that he loved.

But the gods are as cruel as fate, and his wish had long since become his torment.

_Ten years ferrying the souls of those who died at sea. One day ashore._

But Loki wasn’t—

 _He was not part of your agreement._ You _broke your vow, you failed the test. Had you continued as you were bid, he would have been waiting when next you made port._

The memory of the godly messenger no longer hurt. It just made him angry _._

_Loki will no longer be permitted to see you. You have proven yourself unworthy. You have failed._

Tony hadn’t known it was a test– lost in the grief of thinking Loki no longer cared, that ten years was long enough for Loki’s love to cool, he hadn’t thought to consider the way that the gods loved to play with their toys before letting them through the gates. He should have realised that _only_ ten years was too easy.

But by the time he found out the truth, it was too late—

And Tony was damned twice over, cursed to sail the ocean forever when the love of his life was a god of _fire._

There was nothing that could be done… nothing but hope, perhaps, for mercy.

But of course, mercy isn’t in a god’s vocabulary—

And here Tony was. Still sailing the seas, no longer sure that Loki would even recognise his watery corpse if they met again, no longer sure what _he_ would do if they did.

His heart was locked away, his capacity for love and joy with it– and even the sight of flames on a damned ship or the flash of a canon no longer stirred the pain of memory that they once had.

All Tony had left was the sea, and the knowledge that between life and death… maybe, the souls that now relied upon the currents to take them to World’s End were the lucky ones.

**Author's Note:**

> Please don't try telling me to write a sequel for this one, as far as I'm concerned, this fic is completed.


End file.
